I love that he apparently got the job because he looked so pathetic that children truly believed he would be unable to solve puzzles created by a cartoon dog without their assistance.
Giving Zeus burnt offerings until he gives me power over the rain so that I can direct the falling droplets to depict the iconic “Bad Apple” music video from the Touhou franchise
you don’t just “play” final fantasy 14 you either tried it and it wasn’t your sort of game so you never touched it again, or you kept playing it and it fundamentally changed you as a person and irreversibly altered your brain chemistry
or you have never played it but you have friends who play it, and you’ve seen what it does to them and now you’re terrified to touch it
i had friends whispering into my ears like succubus demons. telling me that i should try this fun, cheerful, casual game. wondering if i knew that there was a free trial up to level sixty. promising me tales of group gameplay and adventures with friends that i could take advantage of with no restrictions on play time. those bastards watched as i gave in, giggling behind their hands like scheming courtesans in kdramas orchestrating their rival’s downfall. they roared with sadistic joy as the game ran me over like a freight train of emotions and left my battered corpse lying in a pool of my own tears
my brain chemistry is forever altered. and now i go on
climbing onto a new friends shoulder to whisper in their ear and ask if they’ve heard of the critically acclaimed mmorpg
